Season of Tois

     If you read my month 4 recap post, you may remember me briefly mentioning something about it being party season in Kyrgyzstan. More specificly, I mentioned something about attending a circumcision party. If you're wondering if you read that correctly, you did... The entire season of Autumn is also known as "party season" or "Toi (Той) Season." With this, there are many different reasons for throwing a toi and they can range from something small for 20-50 people at one's house, or something huge held at a banquet hall meant for 200+. Here are just a few of the different toi's I've attended thus far:

• A joint housewarming/double circumcision Toi
• This was the first toi I attended and it was at a banquet hall meant for 150-200 people
• It was thrown by one family who were celebrating a new house and the circumcision of both of their sons (hence the double circumcision). There's a joke among volunteers that you haven't had the true PCKG experience until you attend a circumcision party, so I'm happy to announce that I can cross that off my bucketlist! 
• Given that this was my first big toi, everything came as a surprise
• It started with a 10 second countdowndance for the DJ/Emcee of the evening
• The family then entered to a 5 minute Kyrgyz ballad sang live by professionals
• The entire night was a cycle of different games (my table won 200 soms for a game and I still don't know what we did), eating and dancing
• The night also consisted of different speeches by guests offering their blessings to the family. I thought this was just reserved for family and close friends...it turns out that's not the case. Imagine this: you're sitting at your table, all of a sudden the lights go out, you hear the emcee say that we have a guest from America, and boom there's a spotlight on you and you're forced to give an impromptu speech in Kyrgyz. Well I don't have to imagine it because it actually happened...it was probably the worst Kyrgyz I've ever done and since then I've practiced my speeches in case it happens again 

My table's pre-game strategy session

• Wedding #2
• If you remember from previous posts, I attended my first Kyrgyz wedding during PST with my previous host family. It was a small party held at the groom's house and I was able to witness many traditional aspects of Kyrgyz weddings
• This wedding was slightly different as it was held at a banquet hall with 300 people, similar to the previous Toi I went to, and I actually found several similarities to American weddings: 
• The bride wears a white dress, the couple makes a grand entrance, there's dancing, and plenty of food
• One thing I thought was interesting was that when the bride and groom entered, they walked down the banquet hall (with a live singer accompanying them) and bowed to all the guests several times. At the end of the hall before their couple's table, their friends lined both sides of the dance floor to greet them 

The wedding setup (discoball not pictured)

• Rememberances
• These are not  tois/parties, but instead the opposite and held when someone passes away. There are several different types of rememberances as well:
• Traditional Funeral: held immediately when the person passes away, and in my experience, lasts for 3 days
• I attended 3 different funerals with the teachers at my school. At these, we usually said a brief prayer and Quran reading for the family and then ate quickly before leaving in under an hour.
• A 1 Year Rememberance ("julduk"): this is held 1 year after a person has passed away and mainly features a Quran reading
• For women in Kyrgyzstan, when a close family member passes away, they usually enter a 1 year grieving period. During this time, they do not attend other tois/social events, and keep their hair covered. Therefore, this Julduk also marked the end of the grieving period, and it is tradition to give any women family members a white headscarf (jolook)
• I was able to attend the Julduk of my Kyrgyz teacher's wife. Although I never met her, I feel like I knew her with all of the stories my teacher used to tell about her, so it was an honor to attend and meet so many people that loved her.  
• Rememberances held years after a person has died (Ash): these can be held any year after a person, specifically only a man, has passed away
• The one I attended with the teachers at my school was held 15 years after a prominent community member had passed
• At this, there were several pictures of him hanging up and all of his family from around Kyrgyzstan had come to visit. Once again, it mostly consisted of us eating quickly and leaving after an hour as more guests were arriving 

    These were just some of the more memorable gatherings I've been able to attend so far at my permanent site. These types of events are also so frequent, that there have been multiple times I've had two on the same day and had to choose which to go to. Other types of tois I've been invited to/heard of from other volunteers include: a Beshik Toi (held 40 days after a baby is born and symbolizes them being moved to a cradle), parties held for just the bride before her wedding, too many birthday parties to count, and many others. With this, this post is just a brief introduction into the types of events and traditions held in Kyrgyzstan, and my own personal experiences with them. Also, given that Autumn is not technically over yet, I still have a few more Tois to attend, so stay tuned for more stories of circumcisions and love.

Party Favors!!